She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
