He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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