Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
