he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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