It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
