Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
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Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
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Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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