me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
