Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm at about main and main street
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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