I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
