dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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