Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
