hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
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May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
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my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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