I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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