yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
