I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
