my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
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We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
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You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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