The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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