Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize