i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
