Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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