I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
