As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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