I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
