I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
