Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
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Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
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At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
false alarm, still single
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize