that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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