My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
