I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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