I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
