Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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