never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
God, I missed his penis.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
