I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
