then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
