He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
