I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
