we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
