god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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