Umm I'm too high to move.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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