how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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