I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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