im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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