I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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