Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
is that a dick in a sweater?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
