I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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