Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
