Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
