i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
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I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
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I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize