ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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