you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
