he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
