its not stalking. its research.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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