I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize