I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize