also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
