I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
