yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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